Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Mickey Mouse ate Rodgers and Hammerstein

(I know it's Wednesday. But I missed blogging last week [moving-related lack of any spare time], so I figured I'd make up for it today.)
As part of the moving process, we need to transfer our phone and high-speed Internet service. We've been using Verizon's cheap DSL for a while, however it is not available in Teaneck. Only FiOS. Expensive FiOS. While attempting to see if I could get a price reduction in FiOS since I'm currently paying less for Verizon DSL, I clicked on the "Chat with a live person" link. The canned responses, essential uselessness and lack of emoticons of this chat made the Verizon service person ('Lisa' - they even include the quotes) seem more like a robot than an actual robot. But I figured I'd check if perhaps they have a box where they're allowed to type something on their own volition. Below is an exerpt from the chat transcript:
me: I have another question
Lisa: Please proceed with your question. I am here to assist you.
me: Can you please send me a message consisting of the text "Mickey Mouse ate Rodgers and Hammerstein"
Lisa: I am sorry we do not have information on that.
me: OK, that's what I figured
Lisa: You just need to call local office for get more information on that.
me: Excellent, I will ask the local office to tell me that "Mickey Mouse ate Rodgers and Hammerstein"
What's weird, is that somehow the options they have to choose from do not always guarantee perfect grammar: "for get more information..." rather than "to get..." Maybe they have a list of options to construct sentences, but not full freedom to speak as they might normally?
In any case, I think when I do call the local office, I'll try the "OK, I'll call Comcast, then" method of bargaining. Thank goodness for at least a little smidgen of competition.

6 comments:

  1. How do you know she is not a robot? She certainly fails the Turing Test.

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  2. It's a possibility, but I doubt even Verizon is stupid enough to trust robots with that.

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  3. I just chatted with verizon about signing up for DSL and they completely ignored every question I asked.

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  4. (after a long conversation...)
    Jeanette: I definitely understand, I just do encourage you to check over the fine print very carefully. Is there anything else I can answer for you tonight about our online sales while you have me in chat?
    Michael: actually.....
    Michael: this is related to a conversation with a friend....
    Michael: Can you please send me a message consisting of the text "Mickey Mouse ate Rodgers and Hammerstein"
    Jeanette: I do apologize you want me to send that message to you in chat?
    Michael: yes
    Jeanette: I do apologize, but this is a professional sales chat, I'm more than happy to go over any sales related questions you may have today but I won't be able to send personal messages like that. I do apologize.
    Michael: if you do it, I will explain
    Jeanette: I do apologize but I'm unable to send that, is there anything else I can answer for you about our online sales while you have me in chat?
    Michael: here is what prompted the question: http://lanseybrothers.blogspot.com/2008/07/mickey-mouse-ate-rodgers-and.html
    Jeanette: I do apologize but I'm unable to open links due to the settings on my computer. Is there anything else I can answer for you about sales tonight?
    Michael: lol, I apologize
    Michael: basically, it was a blog post from 2008 where my friend challenged the sales bot to prove it was human by repeating that line
    Jeanette: Not a problem. If you don't have any other sales inquiries for me you can certainly re-open a chat if you need further help later on.
    Jeanette: I definitely understand, I get asked to prove that I'm human quite a bit. I assure you that I am not a sales robot.
    Jeanette: But I do have rules that I have adhere to in order to ensure that I am doing my job to the best of my ability.
    Michael: though it does seem that you're a human who can only type canned responses :-)
    Michael: ok, I'll let you go now. thanks for the help
    Jeanette: You're very welcome. You have a wonderful night.
    Jeanette: Thank you for visiting Verizon Wireless, I look forward to speaking with you again. Have a great evening!

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  5. I wonder if "I get asked to prove that I'm human quite a bit. I assure you that I am not a sales robot." is actually a canned response ... by a robot

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