Tis The Season to be Jolly

A recent news President George W. Bush announced that he authorized the NSA to monitor phone conversations in the United States (previously this was only done abroad), this announcement was only made after there was an illegal leak. So I say the US government should hire Santa Clauses PR people, not only does his organization (SCIA Santa Clauses Intelligence Agency) spy on you both day and night, they also have the right to flag you as naughty or nice. To make this whole thing even sicker, they then tell everyone about it. Not only there counterpart organizations, (CENSORED), but the whole world every single person. Now I personally don't mind the NSA listening to my phone calls, in fact I pity them, but I don't want the SCIA spying on me. Therefore to protect myself from disappearing in mysterious circumstances I am writing this from a secret bunker. Oh and to protect myself when I use the restroom I have all the newest technologies protecting me from every kind of surveillance, I can sell this equipment to you for the small sum of 1.98 billion dollars.