Wednesday, June 29, 2016

5 steps to make your backyard a parking lot

Here are instructions for how you can turn your entire backyard into a huge parking lot in just 5 easy steps. Steps 1-4 are absolutely required, step 5 depends on what neighborhood you live in.
  1. Don't think of the children
  2. Don't care about urban runoff pushing pollution into the rivers, lowering the water table and enhancing droughts
  3. Don't care about the heat island effect that will roast you in the summer
  4. Pour cement into your yard and keep on pouring until every square inch of grass is covered
  5. Look like a complete jerk compared to your urban gardening neighbors


  1. Why do they make big driveways when the space could be used for vegetable gardens or an even bigger house? The attached garages could have been further out. I've seen big ones which seem to take one third.

  2. Are these your (lucky) neighbors? Pat yourself on the back for your urban gardening. You are single-handedly saving the planet, no doubt.