The Toilet made by Apple computers

I'm super excited to bring back the all time favorite "restrooms" tag on the blog to discuss this awesome toilet:

Thats right, the bite of the apple is the small flush... and in case you think that the similarity to the Apple logo is just a coincidence ...you can see below that the brand of toilet is iPhoada which sounds a whole lot like iphone

Don't flush your hopes and dreams down this toilet

I've been in back in England for about a week now, and I've discovered a major problem facing modern British society. The issue is that the sewage systems in British buildings are not sufficiently robust to provide for the extensive sewige-based disposal needs of the British public. See for yourself in these toilet signs below:

Restroom closed

I saw this outside the engineering building at CCNY:

I wonder how many people tried using that hole in the ground to relieve themselves before they put up those signs!

Urinalism Today, October 2011: Urinal Theology

In my groundbreaking March 2011 report Additional Studies on The Recent Evolution of The American Urinal I brought up the issue of how the americanas urinalas aqualess came about I chose not to discuss it there.  However in the months since than I have received large amounts of hate mail from devout Urinalists. Due to this the Rutgers branch of The Lansey Brothers' Blog Investigative Team decided to look into this properly.

We must start with the americanas urinalas, this has been the most prolific in the US for many years.  Urinalists believe that the urinal was a gift to mankind from an all powerful being.  While we have observed a number of mutations of this species they have remained basically the same. However, a number of years ago a completely new species first appeared.  It has not been documented in this journal up till this point.  Let me introduce you to the the americanas urinalas autoflushium or as it is sometimes know americanas urinalas terminaterus.

It is incredibly similar to a normal americanas urinalas however it has evolved a sophisticated eye that allows it a more streamlined, handle-less form.

A close up of the eye.  It is clearly very advanced.  There is some debate how this species came about.  It is such a leap.  Atheists hold that this is clearly an example of the majesty of survival of the fittest Darwinian evolution.  However, Urinalists believe that this is a clear example of intelligent design.  While others stand firm in their belief that it is clearly the work of aliens.  We would rather not incur more hate mail, so we will not debate the validity of the different theories.

We must however look at the close cousin of urinalas autoflushum the americanas standardium prematurus flushium.

The fine sample of newspaperus floorum in the lower right hand corner of this image must also be noted.  It is common fauna found in the dens of all subspecies of americanas standardium.  The exact relationship between these species has not been fully explored however it is believed that the newspaperus floorum somehow increases the length of feedings for the americanas standardium.

Additionally, new analysis has confirmed that the common sink is a member of the porcelainas americanas family.  This came with the discovery of the parallel evolution of the sink with the urinal.  I present to you the sinkas wavius pointlesslium.

Additional Studies on The Recent Evolution of The American Urinal

Some time ago Eli first documented the new species of urinal americanas urinalas aqualess.  At the time he questioned whether this was a naturally occurring species or if it was the result of genetic engineering.  Unfortunately, we here at The Lansey Brothers' Blog Investigative Team do not have any information about the validity of these allegations (If you do have information on this matter please leak this information to us, the people have a right to know).  I am here to alert our readers to the fact that it has become an invasive species.  Previously shown to be exclusive to arid climates it has begun to appear in this moist north eastern climate.  Additionally, it has shown the ability to rapidly adapt to the wetter beer addled climate.  I present to you my findings on this newly discovered subspecies urinalas aqualess vortexsius.

While the changes in this subspecies are not large they have resulted in a significantly improved fluid processing capabilities.  The elongated neck area, over previously observed samples of this species, has resulted in increased vortex creation allowing for improved drainage and user amusement.  This has resulted in the capabilities of this species to proliferate on college campuses and then the rest of world.  While initial studies indicated a solitary lifestyle, it has been recently shown to have the beginnings of a pack mentality, as shown below.

While is has yet to be seen in packs larger than two the speed at which it is forcing out older species is concerning.  In this image you can even see the remains of the previous species to inhabit this region.  The only logical conclusion is that this new species may have cannibalistic tendencies toward older outdated species.  If pack sizes continues to grow at this rate we on the brink of a great extinction.

This is the greatest issue of concern since Global Cooling.  Please write your government representatives, we need to stop this global extinction of the americanas urinalas due to loss of habitat and violent encroachment on territory by the urinalas aqualess vortexsius.  Action must be taken before it is to late.  If worst comes to worst we can always create a americanas urinalas sanctuary.

Eureka!

I do some of my best thinking in the shower. It's warm, there's a plethora of white noise and no major distractions. The one downside has always been the lack of paper. I might come up with a great idea, but I don't always remember it by the time I've run downstairs to find a writing implement.

Well, thanks to having a two year old kid, I now have the solution: The entire shower is a whiteboard!

These are Crayola Bathtub Crayons (and this is not a paid advertising post), and you can use them to write on the walls of the shower:

These are fantastic! Now, whenever I have a great idea in the shower I can just scrawl it on the wall, dry off at my leisure, then transpose it to a paper/electronic copy. And the stuff washes (mostly) off! Now, if only I could figure out a way to find the volumes of irregular objects, I'd be set!

Toilet Paper Roll Orientation

I recently attended a birthday party for Wikipedia, which turns ten years old this year. At the party people asked - were you ever surprised to find that a topic has an article on wikipedia about it.

I thought back to the days when I was surprised to find out all the details of how lightsabers work. Those days are long gone though and now I am no longer surprised about the existence of wikipedia articles ... or so I thought. Somebody mentioned an article about Toilet paper orientation, the choice of letting the paper hang down on the toilet side, or up against the wall. I was surprised as well to find that that page is many times longer than the one on toilet paper itself. It has no less than 128 notes, pages of references and even a "further reading" section (in case you wanted to do some more research). It also lists all the notable people with public opinions on the matter.

Just in case I ever become notable, let the record state that I am very much from the "over" camp, but I respect the opinions of the "under" crowd. The reason I feel this way is just because that is the way my family traditionally sets up the TP. But which side of the family is this tradition from?

Lansey and Gellis family members and any other readers out there, please comment! Lets get to the bottom of this, do you orient your toilet paper hanging over or under the roll?

The missing link

In Yoni's survey of international urinals, he commented on the aquas super genus of urinals. In my comments on that post, I noted how that particular urinal was a member of an increasing rare order of urinalas vulgaris, a.k.a. "pee walls."  These urinals are essentially porcelain or tile walls with a single drain down at one edge (see a great example here [link]).  Although that particular specimen Yoni documented was sporting trendy "privacy barriers," which is unusual for a urinal of that age, and had a larger tile pattern, studying the drain structure and general layout, it's clear that it's a member of the older vulgaris order.

Experts in the field of urinalogeny have long been searching for the evolutionary pathway between these simpler pee walls and the more complex, individual modern urinal.  I believe that I'm the first to document a missing link in this evolutionary chain, discovered in a basement bathroom in a wedding hall in Crown Heights, Brooklyn:

This is a staggeringly exciting specimen. Here we see that these urinals have the floor-level drains

and tiled structure of their vulgaris brethren.  However, they have each evolved their own flush mechanism and drain! Also, note the existence of the modern symbiote crustum urinalas (urinal cakes), which are not compatible with the pee wall class.  I would therefore like to name this urinal the urinales pseudovulgaris (but I am open to other ideas).

Furthermore, it's possible that the barriers seen in the British specimen actually are early versions of the full-length dividers seen here, and not, as I previously suspected, privacy barriers, which are generally a modern evolutionary trait.  Thus, it seems that urinals started growing the dividers from their upper regions, where there is no demand for complicated individual draining systems. Perhaps tile grout (gloopus tilum) was actually incorporated into the urinal species itself (an endosymbiosis)?

These extensions gradually descended downwards, while the lower trough-type drain closed in on itself to form a pipe and individual drain openings. Then, to get our modern urinals, the individual tiles merely needed to separate and shrink upwards, while allowing their underground pipe connections to stretch.

This theory also helps explain urinal reproduction.  The tiled structure of pee walls points to binary fission as the likely mechanism.  However, this evolutionary pathway suggests that the modern urinal reproduces by using "runners" to sprout up new urinals.

As this is a recent find, I am open to other alternative explanations, so let's hear 'em in the comments!

Drosophila Urinales

As some of you might have guessed from my post last week, we recently got back from a trip to Israel and I'll milk this for all it's worth, bloggidly speaking.

On our way out from JFK I spotted a mythical recent evolutionary development in urinal ecology.  The long-lasting symbiotic relationship urinals and urinal cakes between has been documented on this blog in the past, but in recent years urinals have developed a relationship with a rather hardy species of fly.

I spotted the elusive urinal fly (drosophila urinales) in Terminal 4 of JFK International Airport.

It seems that these flies bravely serve as targets for male homo sapiens to aim at. My theory, (which is, of course, thin on one end, much much thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end) is that urinals desire to maximize their resource input from said men and are willing to share some of their bounty with the fly to improve their overall target performance. This role used to be provided solely by the urinal cakes which will undoubtedly need to evolve further to stay fit in this new ecosystem.

Here is a closeup of the now competing organisms:

Urinals and Restrooms of the World

We at the Lanseybrothers blog absolutely love restrooms, we just can't talk enough about them. It began two years ago with a simple attempt by Aryeh to explain the concept of a urinal to a our mother. The same week that Aryeh went public about his "Great Urinal Hunt" (which was more of a safari) Eli began to scientifically classify them with more discussion of phylogenies in "Further Studies of the American Urinal." We then expanded the restroom tag with the South American Mysterious Bathroom Implement, urinal placement, strange flushing mechanisms, fixing toilets, and even restroom graphitti.
I would like to continue the tradition now with my research. Not surprisingly I specialize in foreign urinals and restrooms.
We see here the modern French urinal (galoas urinalas)

It is quite different from the common americanas urinalas but rather similar to dominant English urinals (Brittanius urinalas).

Perhaps the taller French version evloved to accommodate lesser aiming ability or possibly just larger variation in heights.

I spotted this rare and old breed of urinals in the basement of an English university building. It belongs to the water closet family of the porcelainas kingdom known as (aquas super.) They are charachterised by the water tank being raised high above the bowl level.


This species, and the whole family of aquas super are almost extinct in America, England and most of Europe but still thriving quite nicely in some other countries; notably Egypt.



More interesting though is the phenotypical differences in the bowl. Observe the small spout of water, controlled by the faucet on the left side of the toliet (or the side of your right hand if you are sitting). This is indeed for wiping . . .
Notice the non-working version of what looks awfully similar to a toilet paper roll holder. I think it is actually a precurser for the more evolved version with toilet paper and no spouty thing.



I'm not sure what to call this species with the spout, please comment if you have any ideas.

Also, I have a graphic photo, of a toilet that is basically a hole in a tiled floor, with no seat to speak of. I would say its too graphic for this blog though I will email the photo to anyone upon request.

Broken Toilet

I told Aryeh that the toilet in our apartment broke and he asked "how long before you fix it with a hangar"
It was only a few days, but it really wasn't that broken anyway.


Aesthetics Post-Fix


The guts, where you can see whats broken

Toilets, parking, elevators and airplane wings

Stacy and I just got back from a trip to Israel. I'm busy applying for another graduate school fellowship, so this will be a short post.
First of all, the required funny foreign toilet picture. Check out the strange flushing mechanism:

Gotta love how Israelis park:

Also, I always find it frustrating how elevator floors are labeled in the US. "L," "G," etc. Although there's sometimes a star or something, you never really know which floor to get out at if you want to leave the building. Compare this to this elevator in Israel:

Finally, a really cool picture that I took as we were taking off to come back to NY:

Awkward

I came across these urinals in YU. It's hard to tell from the picture, but if one of these are being used, there's really not much space for a person to stand and use the other. I have no idea what they were thinking when they built this.

Kosher Beef

Argentina is known for its beef. Fortunately, there is also really good Kosher beef. There is also Kosher McDonald's.

Although Kosher McDonald's is exciting, we also went to the best (according to everyone in shul) kosher steak restaurant in Buenos Aires. We ordered appetizers, tons of steak and ribs, drinks, and just about every dessert on the menu. As you can see from the third photo, the total bill was $170.
The thing is, the $ sign means "Argentine Pesos" in Argentina. That means, that for a very large meal, at the best kosher steakhouse in Argentina, it costs around 14 US Dollars a person. Also, you may notice in the pictures that there are no steak knives. That's because the steak was so soft that the standard issue restaurant knives were perfectly suited to cutting.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for... this is the purpose of the mysterious bathroom implement:
Aryeh was almost right. It is a sort of soap dispenser. Except that it holds a blob of hard soap that everyone shares.

Mystery Bathroom Implement

Am really tired. Have been traveling by bus, plane, car, foot for way too long. But I'm back in the good ol' Estados Unidos. Firstly, I fixed the pictures from last week's post.
I'll have a more comprehensive post next week, but for now, can anyone guess what the purpose of this mysterious bathroom implement is?
Answers next week.

Further studies of the American Urinal

Aryeh's field guide to the diversity of American Urinal (americanas urinalas), including related species in the porcelainas americanas family, although very thorough (he included the extremely rare horned urinal [urinalas cornu]) missed a few species. Specifically, urinalas scaphium, which can be found in the Yeshiva University's Pollack Library and Belfer Hall.

This species appears with both automatic (in the library) and manual (in Belfer) flush traits. While it is unclear which of these is the dominant trait, the automatic flush variety are notoriosly moody, and tend to flush with little provocation, so one would hope that it is reccesive. Additionally, unlike its cousins which regularly maintain a small amount of water, this species of Urinal maintains a large volume of water. For these reasons, it is suggested that perhaps this species is the missing link between the larger toilet bowls (americanas standardium) and urinals.

Although Aryeh suspects that sinks (cleanlinus basinium) have a symbiotic relationship with Urinals, it is widely accepted that urinal cakes (crustum urinalas) do in fact maintain this symbiotic relationship.

Finally, there is a species of Urinal that has proliferated in recent years which uses no water at all - the Waterless Urinal (urinalas aqualess) -which lives in more arid climates. However many experts suspect that this species is the result of genetic engineering, not a recently discovered native urinal.

THE GREAT URINAL HUNT

On a couple of occasions Eli has pointed out that I get to post on all the holidays that come along. Today will be no exception, this might confuse you slightly as today is Tuesday and Thanksgiving isn’t until Thursday, which as we know is Eli’s day to post. However due to Rutgers creative scheduling today is Thursday and tomorrow is Friday, so I still have managed to post on Thanksgiving. As such, I would like to wish everyone a very happy Turkey Day.

Now that I have finished with the introduction part of this post I can now get to the body. I do not recall precisely how this came up in conversation, but my mother expressed confusion about the nature of the urinals in men’s bathrooms. She had been under the impression that Urinals were simply long trough like apparatuses. I will now attempt to clarify this issue. To do this I walked around the Rutgers campus with a hidden camera and got the insiders view of the men’s restrooms urinals. Now we shall embark on the great urban safari, soon we shall see some urinals in their native habitats.

This is a relativly standard breed of Urinal, however notice the intresting horn. I have only observed this characteristic on Urinals native to the 7th floor of the Hill Center.

Here is a close up of the unusual horn.

This here is an very intresting group three Urinals of diffrent sub-species. I was lucky enough to come across this in the Physics Lecture Hall.

Here are five identical Urinals, now this is a very strange grouping as I have only once seen or heard anyone is this region (the one time occured when I was taking this picture).

These are in fact not a Urinals. They are Sinks they are rather close relitives of the Urinal and you will often see them grouped near each other. My current reasearch would indicate that they have a symbiotic relationship.

RISE FRANKENLUMP!!! good now go kill some villagers.

I felt that it was only appropriate to post at night. MWAHH HA HA HA!!!!! Ok now that that is out of the way I can get to a normal post. On this blog we have had a couple of posts about graffiti in different places (mostly places Yoni/Jonathon has been with his camera). I am happy to say I did not take pictures of the urinal graffiti at Rutgers however I will tell you what the best one says. An arrow points at an empty bit of wall and says “Look human potential just waiting to hatch!!!” I realize that you might not find this particular bit funny, however if u saw the quality of most of the rest of the wall you would laugh as well. However I found the best bit of graffiti I have seen I quite some time on the desk I was sitting at in my physics recitation. I copied it to paper and then to the computer. I hope you enjoy, you can calculate your level of geekyness based upon how long it takes you to get the joke.

*NOTE: IF YOU MEASURED THE TIME IT TOOK YOU TO GET THIS JOKE IN PICO, NANO OR MICRO SECONDS YOUR ARE A HELPLESS CASE.