Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Urinalism Today, October 2011: Urinal Theology

In my groundbreaking March 2011 report Additional Studies on The Recent Evolution of The American Urinal I brought up the issue of how the americanas urinalas aqualess came about I chose not to discuss it there.  However in the months since than I have received large amounts of hate mail from devout Urinalists. Due to this the Rutgers branch of The Lansey Brothers' Blog Investigative Team decided to look into this properly.

We must start with the americanas urinalas, this has been the most prolific in the US for many years.  Urinalists believe that the urinal was a gift to mankind from an all powerful being.  While we have observed a number of mutations of this species they have remained basically the same. However, a number of years ago a completely new species first appearedIt has not been documented in this journal up till this point.  Let me introduce you to the the americanas urinalas autoflushium or as it is sometimes know americanas urinalas terminaterus.
It is incredibly similar to a normal americanas urinalas however it has evolved a sophisticated eye that allows it a more streamlined, handle-less form.
A close up of the eye.  It is clearly very advanced.  There is some debate how this species came about.  It is such a leap.  Atheists hold that this is clearly an example of the majesty of survival of the fittest Darwinian evolution.  However, Urinalists believe that this is a clear example of intelligent design.  While others stand firm in their belief that it is clearly the work of aliens.  We would rather not incur more hate mail, so we will not debate the validity of the different theories.

We must however look at the close cousin of urinalas autoflushum the americanas standardium prematurus flushium.
The fine sample of newspaperus floorum in the lower right hand corner of this image must also be noted.  It is common fauna found in the dens of all subspecies of americanas standardium.  The exact relationship between these species has not been fully explored however it is believed that the newspaperus floorum somehow increases the length of feedings for the americanas standardium.

Additionally, new analysis has confirmed that the common sink is a member of the porcelainas americanas family.  This came with the discovery of the parallel evolution of the sink with the urinalI present to you the sinkas wavius pointlesslium.

1 comment:

  1. All of the Latin names in this post have me literally laughing out loud.
    Along with the rest of the post.