Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Additional Studies on The Recent Evolution of The American Urinal

Some time ago Eli first documented the new species of urinal americanas urinalas aqualessAt the time he questioned whether this was a naturally occurring species or if it was the result of genetic engineering.  Unfortunately, we here at The Lansey Brothers' Blog Investigative Team do not have any information about the validity of these allegations (If you do have information on this matter please leak this information to us, the people have a right to know).  I am here to alert our readers to the fact that it has become an invasive species.  Previously shown to be exclusive to arid climates it has begun to appear in this moist north eastern climate.  Additionally, it has shown the ability to rapidly adapt to the wetter beer addled climate.  I present to you my findings on this newly discovered subspecies urinalas aqualess vortexsius.
While the changes in this subspecies are not large they have resulted in a significantly improved fluid processing capabilities.  The elongated neck area, over previously observed samples of this species, has resulted in increased vortex creation allowing for improved drainage and user amusement.  This has resulted in the capabilities of this species to proliferate on college campuses and then the rest of world.  While initial studies indicated a solitary lifestyle, it has been recently shown to have the beginnings of a pack mentality, as shown below.

While is has yet to be seen in packs larger than two the speed at which it is forcing out older species is concerning.  In this image you can even see the remains of the previous species to inhabit this region.  The only logical conclusion is that this new species may have cannibalistic tendencies toward older outdated species.  If pack sizes continues to grow at this rate we on the brink of a great extinction.

This is the greatest issue of concern since Global Cooling.  Please write your government representatives, we need to stop this global extinction of the americanas urinalas due to loss of habitat and violent encroachment on territory by the urinalas aqualess vortexsius.  Action must be taken before it is to late.  If worst comes to worst we can always create a americanas urinalas sanctuary.

1 comment:

  1. I wonder if the pipes sticking out about the urinals in that last picture will evolve into a new bathroom fixture.