Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Archimedes Screw

Well sadly my Rutgers Screw incident worked out just fine for now, with very little effort I fixed the problems. This is no fun; however I did have a good story to tell. This is how it works as many of you know a person who goes by the name notelon comments very often on this blog, what you may not know is that like me he also goes to Rutgers. He however has a much better end result Rutgers Screw Story then I have, additionally I don’t think any of you can complain about his grammar or spelling (or not nearly as much as you complain about mine); So without further ado.

I assume all of you noticed I am not Aryeh. You may well wonder why I should be allowed to post then, considering I'm not a Lansey Brother. Well while it is true I am not a Lansey brother, I am a brother (Just ask notDaniel), and just as there is a Lansey who is not a brother, and she posts sometimes, so too a brother who is not a Lansey can post sometimes. Now on with the post.

I too have a story about the RU Screw. You see, I am a Chemical Physics major, and as befits Chemical Physics majors, I wished to sign up for Chemistry and Physics courses. Oh, and math too. Math is always good.

So I checked the course catalog for Chemistry, Math, and Physics Courses. It was quite a decision process, but I was able to narrow it down. I chose to take Atomic and Molecular Structures, an appropriate course considering my research. I also took Chemistry Seminar, not that I wanted to, but it was required. Philosophy of Physics is a senior level philosophy course all about Zeno's paradoxes, which even the Ancient Greeks with rudimentary knowledge of math did not find convincing. I also wanted Math Reasoning, Intermediate Quantum Mechanics, and of course Honors Research in Chemistry. Not a bad course load.

So far so good but then came the RU SCREW. Gasp! Yes, when I tried registering for the courses, I found I could only get two, Atomic and Molecular Structures and Seminar. The others all failed to go through the system. For starters, you can't take Intermediate Quantum Mechanics without Elementary Quantum Mechanics. Fair enough. And I don't actually have to sign up for the research.

But why couldn't I take Math Reasoning? Does it even have a prerequisite? Indeed it does. Basic Calculus, and don't think for a second that Differential Equations cuts it. You need Basic Calculus. Of course I got into Differential Equations because I had advanced Calculus, and I got into Advanced Calculus, because at that time I had Basic, but I don't have Basic now. So I'll have to go to the dean.

Proceeding to the next course, we find that I don't have the prerequisite for Philosophy of Physics. What prerequisite is that? Oh just a physics course. Doesn't a Chemical Physics major have physics courses. Well yeah, but they're not the right physics courses. So again I'll have to go argue it out with the dean.

I bet you thought I could just go to the dean and ask nicely to fix the schedule. Ha, not in a million years. You see the dean can't fix anything, unless you already have a full schedule. The theory there being that if the dean can't fix the problems, at least you are already registered for classes. But of course, I couldn't fill my schedule, unless the dean fixed the problems, and I couldn't see the dean, unless I filled my schedule. That's one bad catch-22.

Well there is one way out. If I registered for other classes, then I could see the dean and register for the classes I want. Of course I would need the prerequisites for those other classes, and they couldn't conflict with each other. Those requirements effectively ruled out any classes in the sciences, and I was distraught.

But at last I came upon an answer. I was taking far too many science courses, but my knowledge of culture was dim beyond compare. And is not college the place to enrich yourself? So I decided to register for some classes on culture, and fill in my deficits. Of course this was difficult, as I didn't have the prerequisite for Advanced Applied Tuba, say. And The Nature of Politics conflicted with Chemistry Seminar, and even Chemistry Seminar is more interesting. But eventually I found the classes to tame my wild uncultured heart.
First off I had to take Elementary Hungarian. I mean there's this big country near Austria and Romania, and uncultured buffoon that I am, I don't speak a word of the language. Dance Appreciation was another must. Thinking back, I never really did appreciate dance, perhaps because I am clumsy. But it's high time I learned.

But the real score was Feminist Practice. I am a Chauvinist Male Oaf, and that is unacceptable in our modern world. I must learn to tame my masculine aggression with feminine intuition. Only then will I be an acceptable modern man. And you thought knowing how to do the dishes was enough!

So now that I registered for all these courses, no longer am I a scientific savant. No, now I have culture. Indeed, I have truly become a Renaissance Man, a real polymath. Until I sign up for the science courses and drop this garbage. Then I'll be an elonmath.

Bottom Line: you can't go through Rutgers without hitting the phenomenon known as the RU Screw. It is so prevalent in Rutgers Society, it even made it in the Alma Mater.

So you just got Screwed by Old Rutgers,
Well that’s just the way it’s ran.
Yes, you can argue all day,
But you’ll n’er get your way,
On The Banks of the Old Raritan

So ends notelons bit, however I did tease you with the idea of an Archimedes Screw so here is one.


  1. Elon, I think for the good of humanity you need to take those courses, I mean the blog posts alone! Can you at least go to the first of each of those classes?

  2. Stacy, let's see. I should waste 5 months of my life and probably cause permanent brain damage. The good of humanity is not worth nearly enough.

  3. Ah, college students. Your problems are so....quaint. Try dealing with Israeli government offices while maintaining a full-time job. Insanity is only the beginning.

  4. Notelon's obvious mocking post merely shows his Western bias against intuitive knowledge and towards outside based knowledge.

    His insistence of "facts" merely demonstrate the cultural norm of his Judeo-Christian thinking has obviously limited his ability to complete his whole self by embracing his feminine intuitive side. Wait. I already used that word... His feminine unpremeditated side.

    I highly recommend that notelon take a course in flower arranging.

    Meanwhile, I'll try to figure out what the heck phallogocentrism actually means.