Tuesday, November 22, 2005

10 Ways to Know That It Is Getting Cold Out

You know that it’s getting cold outside…
1. When you go outside your ears fall off.
2. That strange shiny stuff inside that weird glass tube with the little lines on it shrinks.
3. While biking you have to dodge icebergs (NOT ICE CUBES) or risk going down like the Titanic (or at least like a 200 pound enraged lump).
4. You notice strange multicolored parasites have infested the human population and control the humans by attaching to their head, hands and torso.
5. All the fuzzy animals go to Florida (just as a side point, did you every notice that old people tend to be fuzzy around the edges, must be because they’ve lost their grip on reality and are starting to break up).
6. People with signs the say “The End of The World is Coming!!!” start standing on street corners (obviously they missed out on the fact that the end of the world was last Wednesday).
7. Human start strapping sticks to their feet and then hurl themselves down frozen mountains.
8. All your neighbors start calling your mother to get you to clear that toxic white stuff of their driveways.
9. Angels start falling from the sky and then have to walk back to heaven but before they do they leave tracks in that white stuff (I have been studying these tracks and determined that all Angels are the size of children).
10. When the change in Enthalpy (H) of the Northern Hemispherical system becomes positive, due to change in Heat (q) being negative.

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