Thursday, October 05, 2006

130 Stairs

This coming week is Sukkot, and as such I'll be needing a sukka to eat in. However, the nearest sukka that I know of is down 130 stairs [check out that cool link]. This is not such a problem, as it's east to go down stairs. The problem is the way back up. By the time I make it back, I'll be hungry from all that exercise and ready to eat again.
So, I'm looking for suggestions for a quick, portable, easy to set up and cheap sukka that I can make so that I don't need to brave those stairs.


  1. Get someone to carry you back upstairs.

  2. As I recall (and I am not making this up), according to the halachot of sukkah, you can use a person as part of a wall of a sukkah, provided that 1) the person doesn't move and 2) the person is unaware that he/she is part of a sukkah. So just invite some friends over:

    Eli: Hey, guys, come over my house for dinner!
    Guys: Great!

    Later that evening...

    Guys: Can we come inside?
    Eli: No, we're eating out here, because it's Sukkot.
    Guys: Oh, right. But where's the sukkah?
    Eli: Um...I don't...know. Can you guys stand in lines forming a rectangle? Here, let me arrange you. Now don't move, ok?
    Guys: What's going on? Why can't we move?
    Eli: It's, it's a game! the, um, the "don't move till we're done dinner game!"
    Guys: Dinner? So we can eat now?
    Eli: No, not so much.
    Guys: Why not?
    Eli: Because you're not in a sukkah.

    The Guys spontaneously combust due to the volatile combination of frustration and absurdity.

    The Rabbinic Sages roll in their graves. Some may even weep.

    So there you have it - a simple solution, all laid out. All you have to figure out now is what to do about schach. (Eli: Ok, now wear these branches as hats...)

    By the way, women are not excluded from this. Even though the mitzvah of being part of a sukkah is a time-bound positive mitzvah, a woman can be a sukkah wall as much as a man can. However, it may be wise to adopt the custom of not having a sukkah made of both men and women, as it may lead to mixed dancing.

  3. Get a camel. Then it could walk the succah to you.

  4. the A train elevator is theoretically a shabbat elevator if you have nothing to do with the opening closing, and are not the last one in, or block the door or anything, maybe. Ask a rabbi.