Saturday, January 13, 2007

My Invasion of France

A friend and I decided to invade France the other day. This is me manning our battleship, the Pioneer Newhaven.

We left at dawn, it was a lovely day and the wind was blowing in the right direction.

Upon landing in Calais, the defence was light (this is France remember) but we found out why after climbing the cliffs. Apparently the French defences were not even allowed to shoot missles.

The sum total resistance we got was from a lone uniformed man asking us for passports, to which I replied, "My grandfather didn't need a passport to enter when he saved your French @#$$ in 1944!"

We noticed a few things that we plan to change now that we own France, but first here are the things that can stay the way they are.
The following building was really neat.

Now onto some things that should change:
Snails that are sold in supermarkets should have a large yellow label stating "Warning, these are actually snails." Its rather a bit scary the way it is now.

Next the rubbish bins are way too fancy. They should be changed to proper NYC style garbage cans fit for rubbish. At some later point I will give a photo rant about the frilly garbage cans of Europe.

None of this miniaturization of vehicles. A bus that looks like a bus should be the size of a bus. (It was free though, rather neat).

According to my fellow Admiral (who is English), "you know your in France when there are piles of dog excrement everywhere." France must join Argentina as a modern country with normal modern laws about picking up after your dog.

Relieved to have made it back to England when we saw the white cliffs of Dover.

Next week I'll discuss the excellent fire safety standards of French lighthouses (unless Santa Claus gets back to me!)

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